My Place In This World

This is me. The honest, the hard, the authentic, the imperfect me. I am pretty great. Definitely a mess most days, and yet, I am loved. I am loved by a God who would weave this incredible story into my life. A God that took a chunk of coal and is making me a diamond. Something others only wish they had. It's only when it comes to reality that they will wish they had it all, but to go through what I've been through, yeah that is a different story. 

Beautiful, wonderful is what you see when you look at me. You are the only one that knows me from the listen and has been with me since the very beginning. Thank you. Thank you for this journey that you allowed me to be a part of. I am so grateful. The journey has been crazy. 

I will be the greatest version of myself this year. I will laugh more than I ever have, I will be confident in my own skin and I will work the hardest that I ever have. I just need the strength Lord to make it through this season. 

I am actually doing it. I am leaving the familiar to pursue my own life. I have given it my life. I have given it my heart. I know that this season is done and you are calling me out. I don't know where that new place is, but I am ready to seek it out. I am going to pursue a different path and I am going to pursue a different life. The diamond life that I have known all along is where I am going. 

I don't need to explain that, or justify it to anyone. I know it's where I am going. I am know it's what I am doing. Lord, you created something amazing with my past and you are going to carry it from now on. You are going to lead me in this great adventure. I am so thankful. I am not angry anymore, because everything I've been through has led me to this moment, to these moments that we live for. This moment of gratitude. 

This isn't the end for me though. Everyday I learn more about what I want, and what kind of life that I want to create. I need a second wind to discover what that is everyday. 

To spend my life getting to know Him and His Word. To be defined by Him in every way. 

Lord, I am giving this life to you. I know that the things I want wouldn't mean anything without you. They are the result of a life that I want live in glorifying you. They are the way that I want to glorify you. And I also know that they won't take away the struggle of normal life. That is never gonna happen but I also know that it's my greatest life. I don't even deserve these dreams. Thank you Lord. Thank you my King. I love you. I love you with all my heart and I can't believe that I have these opportunities in my life. I am so blessed, I can't even contain it. 

I don't need to find my place in this world, I need to TAKE my place in this world.  

Amen

Moldable

Should I make this an annual blog? I'm just kidding. But based off my track record, I'm not kidding. Oops!

I really do love looking back after a year and seeing how God used situations and experiences to mold me into the person I am today. The key, I think, to moving forward is being moldable (maybe that isn't a word but I am sure you are catching my drift). Being teachable, and allowing God to work out His plan through you and me. I am amazed at the weaving He does in the tapestry of my life. The bright colors, the different textures, the story He is creating honestly takes my breath away. Does it always make sense? No. Is is easy? Not always. Do I sometimes struggle with trusting it will all work out? Yeah, to be honest...I do. But one thing I never doubt is His love and goodness for me. His goodness for you.

As a new chapter opens up in our lives, we can choose to see how scary and unfamiliar it might feel. Which could paralyze us, or we can (with effort sometimes) choose to take the steps forward with faith. Life is supposed to a big adventure, a journey that isn't meant to get us to a destination but to bring us closer to being like Christ. Life is God. Period. Try it. Take a deep breath. Now let it out. That is proof that you were created by a God that loves you. He wants you. He wants all of you. He wants all of me.

I'm in a season of transition. Choosing to exit out of the dance company, cultivating relationships, working on a growing organization and also learning to love myself the way that God does; unconditionally.